When is Chinese New Year?

If you somehow arrived on my blog at the end of a quest to hunt down the answer to this question (though I don't see how that could be possible, since Google itself answers the question directly at the top of its search results), then I'll just get it out of the way now and tell you that Chinese New Year 2013 is Sunday, February 10. Congratulations and prosperity be to you.

* * *

"When's the Lunar New Year?"

I didn't know what that was, and I couldn't think of any reason for anyone to suppose that I would. I never was the go-to guy for scratching anybody's question itches. So, seeing no reason to assume that it was directed at me, I went on doing what I was doing, without stopping to acknowledge that anyone had spoken.

"Henry?" they then added. Apparently they weren't going to let me zone out through this one.

So, with sincere ignorance, I asked back, "Wuzzat—some Mayan thing?"

"Chinese New Year! Aren't you supposed to be Chinese? You should know this."

"Oh, um, we just call it 'New Year's,'" I scrambled to explain. "I didn't understand what you meant with the 'Lunar.'"

"I didn't want to say 'Chinese New Year,' because I don't know if it's politically correct. I didn't want to sound racist."

"Yes, well, good effort, anyway."

Yes, how mighty decent of you to not want to sound racist as you assume that the one Chinese guy in the building would have to know when Chinese New Year is. I bet you never considered asking Ms. Jones right next to you, did you? Even though she's just as likely or unlikely to know the answer.

"Just tell me, is it this weekend or the one after?" they asked.

"Oh, I have no idea. I didn't even know it was coming up."

"You don't know when your new year is? What kind of Chinese are you? You don't know anything?"

"I know that Wednesday is SVU, Thursday is Vampire Diaries, 'Friday I'm in Love.' But Chinese New Year? No idea. Don't know, don't care."

"It's this weekend," Ms. Jones then chipped in with the correct answer.

See? Now I hope we all learned something from this.

* * *

Sorry, but I don't have a clue what the dates are for Chinese New Year 2014 and on. I'd advise you to just Google it when it gets closer to the holiday—around the beginning of February.