Monday, April 8, 2013

Game of Thrones – Know Your Mormonts

When the burn-face guy almost threw down with the midget's friend? Oh man!

– Me discussing HBO's Game of Thrones

Vulture recently posted a list of mnemonics to aid in remembering the names of characters in Game of Thrones. It's a jokey piece, of no real usefulness. Anyway, even if I could get to a point of being able to memorize all the hundreds of weirdo names in the series, what purpose would it serve? It's not likely anybody else would have put in the same amount of study to be able to know that, when I speak of Jorah Mormont, I refer to the bodyguard of the dragon princess and not to his father, Jeor Mormont, commander of the border guard in the icy north.

I'm probably worse than the average person when it comes to names. I've gotten through entire multi-season TV series without knowing even the main characters' names. In such cases, when discussing the shows, I would just refer to characters with short identifying descriptions, and I would always be perfectly understood. So it is with Game of Thrones; when I say "burn-face guy" or "the midget's friend," people know who I mean (provided they remember the characters at all). "Bald eunuch." "Scheming brothel keeper." "Sadistic prince." "Giant female knight." "Fat king." "The fat king's brother's male lover." "Sarah Connor Chronicles." "That Polynesian guy from Stargate: Atlantis, but you probably know him better as 'Conan' or 'Jason Momoa.'" "Sean Bean." "Sean Bean's wife." "Sean Bean's son." "Sean Bean's ward." "Sean Bean's bastard." And so on and so forth. (Okay, so I don't really use that last one. Jon Snow is probably the only character I know by name, for obvious reasons.)

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