Captain

I had a dream that I was at the theater watching a new Pirates of the Caribbean movie.

"I'm so glad they got Johnny Depp back as Jack Sparrow," said the guy next to me.

"That's Orlando Bloom," I corrected him.

Not only was this guy unable to tell the difference between Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom, but he had somehow missed the biggest news of the decade--after Depp had, for whatever reason, walked out on the series, leading to the most drawn-out and heavily scrutinized recasting call of all time, the studio had ultimately determined that the best actor for the part was none other than Orlando Bloom.

Despite some early naysayers, as it turned out, Depp's Oscar-nominated performance was all in the makeup all along (although, in my dream, Bloom looked and acted more like Zorro than Jack Sparrow).