Tuesday, January 26, 2010

The Years of Wrath

I had a dream that our leader committed suicide. In the aftermath, his sons and generals fought over succession, but, as his former personal secretary, I still had the key to his "war room." This was where the missile controls were, and so I locked myself in and became the most powerful man in the world.

Apparently there was also a radio that allowed me to broadcast to all of America. As its new leader, I thus made my one and only address to the people:

"I'm not one of those liars. There is no hope."

I then proceeded to launch all missiles on Kansas.

I don't know why I did these things, but the feelings of desperation grew surprisingly much worse once my missiles were gone. I had no food, but I couldn't leave the safety of my headquarters to go looking for any. All I could do was wait in fear and solitude until I starved to death.


Czardoz said...

I recently searched Youtube and Google for that Bode Miller years of wrath video, but I couldn't find it. I did find plenty of other commercials from that series, but I didn't recognize any of them.

Did you feel like Bill Rizer?

Henry said...

I have no idea how Bill Rizer felt, seeing as how Konami offered zero context or elaboration as it just casually credited him with the greatest fictional atrocity ever committed by a video game character.